SITUATIONAL ETHICS SUCK
I’m afraid that we’re developing another generation gap and this one isn’t merely cosmetic (can’t stand those tattoos!) or aurally aesthetic (can’t stand that music!) or even extreme economic (why “own” anything). It’s far more important than any of these fairly superficial differences and preferences – albeit I recognize that they are crushingly important to the hosts of TMZ and Access Hollywood.
And it’s far more pressing and critical than the angst and quasi-parental concerns these weird choices engender in us grown-ups. I can deal with all the questionable choices that many young people are making today because I’m relatively sure that we all made similar (or much worse, but probably less long-lasting) choices in our youth and yet, amazingly enough, we’re still here, standing tall, and giving them advice and the “benefit” of our wisdom – such as it is.
But I’m not talking about something that’s a preference or an option that we can take or leave – I’m talking about a problem that threatens to undermine something so fundamental and basic to the conduct of business (and especially to early-stage angel investing) that almost everyone (other than those in the film or music business) has always taken it for gospel and for granted. They say every day in the film business, “I’ll love you ‘til I don’t” so get used to it. But that kind of fleeting attachment or commitment and the complete absence of sincerity that’s “just business” in those worlds isn’t the way we hope and expect that the rest of the sane (and square) business world conducts itself.
That’s why I’m getting increasingly concerned about this very basic idea. I recently heard Alan Matthew (a long-time successful options and commodities trader) express it forcefully in about 15 different ways throughout a recent talk he gave to several hundred entrepreneurs at 1871. He said that, in every deal he does, and in every transaction: “My word is my bond.” And it’s just that simple – especially in the trading pits in Chicago – where the entire ecosystem depends on trust and the ability for everyone to rely on the commitments and honesty of the other players. But the problem is that - even as essential a part as this attitude is to how we do business in Chicago - I don’t think we’re doing a good job of communicating this very critical concept to today’s young entrepreneurs. Too many of them live in a different conceptual world – one driven by situational ethics. And it sucks.
Telling people half the story or what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear isn’t a funding solution – it’s an invitation to a later slaughter. And it’s usually the entrepreneur and the management team who will ultimately get killed. So it makes sense to share ALL of the news all the time – if for no other reason than to just save yourself all the grief coming down the line. The truth never hurts unless it ought to and sometimes it’s a powerful wake-up call for all concerned. There’s never a really good or special time to decide to tell the truth – the time is all the time.
But, if you haven’t been there (to make the right choice regardless of how hard or discouraging it may be or how it may impact your financing or prospects) and there’s no one more experienced around to guide you because you’re running full-speed ahead and you’re also making it up as you go, it’s far too easy to take a quick slide down that slippery ethical slope. And once you lose someone’s confidence, once they come to believe that you don’t share and abide by their fundamental values, you will never get their trust and support entirely back.
And, honestly, because a whole generation of kids have been told (at least since second grade) that they’re amazing, exceptional and completely unique, it’s just a short step for them to conclude that the ordinary rules don’t apply to them and that morals are just for little people and that they’re way above that somewhat mundane conformity and far too smart for it as well. An old friend of mine used to say – by way of excusing virtually anything disgusting that he managed to do - that exceptional people deserve special concessions. I’m afraid his disease may be spreading.
As I often kiddingly say when I’m talking about building your company’s culture and instilling critical values in your people and your business processes: “These are my principles. If you don’t like them, I have others.” But that’s always intended as a joke because – in the real world – we don’t get to pick and choose when to honor our promises and commitments. We say what we’ll do and then we do what we said we’d do. It couldn’t be more straightforward – you don’t get to be truthful some of the time or some time later or when it’s a better or more convenient time. The truth doesn’t vary based on circumstances.
And frankly, I’m not even sure that, in some cases, this is purely an issue of intentional dishonesty or immorality. I think it’s just as much a lack of experience and education combined with way too much enthusiasm. Entrepreneurs can talk themselves into anything (I call this the “that hooker really liked me” condition) and, once they do, they want to sell it to the world. But whenever you find that you’re having to shade the truth or forget some ugly facts in order to convince yourself or talk your team or some investor into something that you’re not even sure you yourself buy off on, you’re probably not doing yourself or anyone else a favor. It’s almost inevitably a bad deal which you should back away from as quickly as possible.
And, while it’s great to be highly motivated, it’s not even a little cool if no one trusts your motives. It takes a time and hard work to build any kind of relationship, but just an instant and a suspicion (a long way from proof) to destroy it. And I know just how hard it is to say things that no one wants to hear, but that’s part of the leader’s job – it’s not delegable and it’s not optional.
It takes a great deal of experience and a whole bunch of broken dreams and busted relationships to appreciate that to be trusted is a much greater compliment than to be loved. Entrepreneurs – without a doubt – need and want (first and foremost) to be loved. It’s part of the sickness which drives us. But, at the end of the day, trust is the only thing that you can really take to the bank.
PP: “You Get What You Work for, Not What You Wish for”
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